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Whether you call it betrayal, cheating, infidelity or something else doesn't change the fact that it's probably one of the most painful episodes you'll ever go through. The pain of infidelity can be cured, if you choose to try to restore the relationship and forgive. At this point, the pain your feeling may be beyond description. While it may be that forgiving someone who's cheated on you makes no sense at all right now, such a course of action definitely has benefits for you. The main reason for doing this must be that you're doing it for your own happiness. It's just as important to your own happiness and well-being that you be able to forgive your boyfriend and rebuild the relationship. This has to be a one-shot deal, though - if your boyfriend turns out to be a serial cheater, you've got to dump him. If he seems remorseful and seeks your forgiveness, and wants to rebuild the relationship, then try the following steps:

Healing Infidelity Tip #1

The first step is to talk with him about his infidelity. No matter hard it is for you, it's going to be hard on him as well, because he's going to have to explain why he couldn't be faithful. He'll be admitting that he's weak. But it's a critical conversation to have if you're to find out why he cheated. Perhaps he thought that your feelings for him had cooled down, or maybe he just had a crisis of self-confidence. When he explains himself, don't be accusatory and judgmental - you already know he's weak, and now he's confirming it. Why kick him when he's down? This discussion is critical to healing the pain of infidelity because you'll be able to tell if he's really sincere.

Healing Infidelity Tip #2

The second step is to let your feelings out. It's time like this that you feel all sorts of emotions and feelings churning away inside you. You need to let your emotions out, but don't do it in a harmful way. Drugs and alcohol, fir example, are self-destructive approaches to handling emotional crises, and should be avoided. There are healthy ways to express your pain. An excellent outlet is to write in a journal. Another approach is to adopt a regular workout routine. However, don't store those emotions inside you - in the long run, it will harm your mental health. One way that many people have found successful is simply to have a good cry. You cannot move on - you cannot restore the relationship - if you haven't healed yourself.

Healing Infidelity Tip #3

The third step may be the hardest, because the third step is to forgive. At this point, if you haven't really forgiven him, there's no point in being in a relationship with your boyfriend. It's time to put the past behind you. You made your choice, now forgive him. Your love for him will give you the strength to forgive him.

Healing Infidelity Tip #4

The fourth step is to spend some time with a psychologist or other mental health professional or advisor. Your relationship needs some professional help, and that means each of you should talk with a counselor. The only alternative is to talk to a trusted friend who's had first-hand experience in what you're going through. Of course, this will also require some hard work. Remember especially to keep an open mind and listen to what he has to say. Don't waste your time, or your friend's by pointing fingers or being judgmental. Neither of you can save the relationship on your own; you need to work together if it's going to be saved.

Healing Infidelity Tip #5

The fifth and final step is to acknowledge that what's done is done. Put it behind you and move on. The kind of pain caused by infidelity can be massive. It takes time to heal with both of you working on it. Infidelity's pain isn't going to vanish in the twinkling of an eye, especially for you. This isn't something you can kiss and make better. The healing will come faster, though, if you can look forward and do your best to let go of the past.

If you can overcome the pain of infidelity, it will likely make yours a strong and secure relationship. I hope the steps I've presented here can help. As they say, sometimes bad things happen to good people. More important, though, is learning and growing from the bad experiences we go through.